Bribery, blackmail, threats and tantrums are frequently used as a last resort in homes around the world for coercing slovenly family members to pick up after themselves. While such  methods may work in the short term, they’re not particularly conducive to a happy household. To avoid unpleasant conflicts within the home, it’s vital to know how to teach family members to pick up after themselves.


Unless someone within the household is actually being paid to pick up after everyone else, then all household members who are old enough and physically capable, must be responsible for tidying their own possessions. It goes without saying that the more people living under one roof, the messier it will become unless everyone pitches in with tidying.

One way of teaching children and teenagers to pick up after themselves is by giving them a time limit. If something is left in a communal area and not put away in its proper place, then set a rule whereby such items will either be confiscated or thrown away unless they are tidied up before going to bed. This may be a hard lesson to learn, but it should make them think twice about repeating the offense.

Clothing is probably the most common source of messiness around the house. Family members arrive home, flinging jackets, bags or shoes wherever is most convenient at the time, without a thought to the trail of mess they’ve left in their wake. Rather than shout or pick up their belongings for them, take a broom and sweep everything into a large pile. When it’s time for them to retrieve their things the next day, they won’t enjoy delving through piles of clothing mixed up with floor sweepings.

Still on the topic of clothes, dirty washing is probably one of the greatest causes of annoyance to family members, particularly whoever washes the clothes. Any clothes that aren’t deposited in the designated clothes basket or receptacle, will not be washed. Certainly, some teenagers won’t be unduly concerned over this and may happily wear week old underpants and socks. But eventually they will be driven to searching out the wash basket if friends start deserting them.

Sometimes a little emotional blackmail can help. Ask family members whether they like to see you cry. Hopefully, the answer will be no. In this case, the next time you see their items on the floor or in the wrong place, point them out and burst into tears. This action should impress on more sensitive family members just how upsetting you find their thoughtlessness.

A messy house is a dangerous house. Toys, scooters and bags left in hallways or on the stairs are particularly hazardous. But this point may require a demonstration of the case in point. When the house has reached a particularly chaotic state, announce that you are testing out an emergency fire drill evacuation as if it were in the middle of the night. One by one, ask family members to close their eyes and see whether they can get to the front door without tripping up. If there are stairs involved, they may need guidance. In any case, this exercise should help them see the dangers of belongings left where they shouldn’t be.

Peer pressure amongst family members can also help. Draw up a roster and assign one member each week to picking up duties for the household. You could even offer a small financial incentive. But after a few days they are likely to start resenting picking up after their lazy siblings and possibly nag them to pick up after themselves. They may even appreciate just why you become so annoyed with their messiness.

Getting family members to pick up after themselves is often a thankless and difficult task. Although it may require a few harsh lessons and a bit of straight talking, eventually, everyone should come to understand the unfairness of expecting others to pick up after them. And once everyone starts cooperating, they are sure to appreciate how much nicer it is to live in a tidy house.